Sunday, June 16, 2013

Fatherhood

In navigating the adoption process, most people know about our desire to grow our family and our goal to help a child in need. What most people don't know is that I have an adoption story of my own.

My parents met when I was 9 months old. My mom had bravely decided to get out of an unhealthy marriage and was forging along as a single parent. My dad was the son of farmers, still living at home, looking for a reason to get his bell bottoms out on the town. It was 1976 and things were about to change for the two of them. And for me. Forever.

Dating a woman with children takes a special kind of man, particularly if you've never been married and have no children of your own. Not only do you have to win the heart of your new lady friend, but you have to gain the trust and friendship of the rest of the family. To be honest, winning over a baby probably wasn't that hard for my dad. Throw me a jar of pureed sweet potatoes and I was putty in his hands.

It was just a matter of time before my dad decided he couldn't live without me, so he proposed to my mom. After all, we were a package deal. Shortly after their wedding, my mom began to talk with her ex-husband about terminating his parental rights. This would mean no more child support, no more visitation, no relationship with me. Ever. He decided to sign. I will never know his motives, whether it was money, convenience, or just the simple realization that my mom had gotten re-married to one hell of a guy. But he signed. And I am so grateful.

I have always known my dad adopted me. I have always known that he made the willing choice to love me as his own and accept me as his daughter. That alone has made me cherish him that much more. I don't often talk about my dad. He's a quiet man who spent much of my childhood saying, "Go ask your mother." or "Pull my finger." But he was always there, working hard for our family, giving us horsey rides, letting me and my sister fill his beard with barrettes.

As a grandfather, I see how much he loves his grandchildren and I am certain. I am certain he would love any child we brought into our home, certain he would welcome them with open arms, and certain he would accept them the way he has always accepted me. Because my dad is a good, good man.

Happy Fathers Day, Dad. And no, I will not pull your finger.

2 comments:

Patty said...

Amy, Your mom is typing this because I peck and pound and it would take me 3 days!

"Thank you very much! Your post was very sweet, sincere and filled with love :-) I didn't think you could make me cry... but you did. It was the best decision I have ever made - to adopt you - and I guess to marry your mom - as you were a package deal! Especially… when we came home and you ran past your mom straight into my arms. Love you very much, your Dad."

Hannah said...

Awe, this made me get all teary eyed and I haven't even had any wine tonight - yet!