Friday, May 11, 2012

Setting The Bar Low

As Mother's Day approaches, I thought I should take a minute to thank my mom for raising me right.  But then I  thought I should take a minute to write about how all of my mom's years of love and sacrifice have made me a better mom.  But then I sat back and thought about how much I am screwing up my daughter, so I decided to write about that instead.

The last time I visited my parents, my mom gave me the ultimate compliment when she said, "You know, I'm really surprised Morgan doesn't curse."  Actually, so was I.  I can pretend that I have learned to watch my language over the years, but the truth is, most of my stories hinge on a well placed F-bomb.

Fast forward two weeks.  I was trying to put Morgan's hair in pigtails, right about the same time she decided to start violently swinging her head around, you know, just to see if it would fall off.  Given that she does this every time I do her hair, I have a well-rehearsed line I recite to myself.  I take a deep breath, mutter, "son of a bitch" and politely ask her to HOLD STILL.  This time, my mom's insightful observation was still resonating.  I took a deep breath, didn't mutter anything, and just kept working.

Suddenly, Morgan gasped loudly and swung her gaze to meet mine.  "Say it!!! Mom, you have to say it!!!"  I looked at her, totally bewildered.  "Say what?" I asked.

"Say son of a bitch, Mom.  You have to say son of a bitch."

Believe me, kiddo.  I am now.

1 comment:

Vicki said...

Toooooo funny... I love it.... say it again... son of a what??