Parts & Pieces

One of the many idiosyncrasies about my daughter is the fact that she loves to put just about anything to music. She will turn just about any story into a song and will make just about any word into a melody. Very rarely do I pay attention to what she sings, as it usually just confuses me. Last week at dinner was no exception.

Over a plate of broccoli and chicken, Morgan was murmuring to herself. David and I were chatting, oblivious to whatever story she was conjuring up. That is, until I heard the phrase, "La, la, la....funny wiener." As hard as this may be to believe, I actually don't use the word "wiener" around Morgan so the fact that she was casually throwing it out at dinner caught me a bit off guard.

However, I didn't want to freak her out, so I was all sorts of nonchalant when I said-

"So, uh, where did you learn the word "wiener"? 

     "From the boys in class. They were talking about their wieners at school today."

"Morgan, do you know what a wiener is?"

     "Ugh. Mom. It's a boy's privates. It's where they go potty."

At this point, I can feel the blood rushing to my face. David was mid-bite, scared shitless about what I was going to say next. He knows me well. He had every reason to be scared.

"First of all, it's called a penis, not a wiener. Second of all, they're called privates for a reason. You don't talk about your privates at school, your friends don't talk about their privates at school. And you certainly don't need to show each other your privates. In fact, if any of that happens,  you tell your teacher immediately. Do you understand?"

     "Yes, mommy."

"Okay, the next time one of  your friends wants to talk about their funny wiener, what are you going to do?"

     "Mom!!!!  I am just going to tell them IT'S CALLED A PENIS!!!!!!

Of course you will. I don't even know why I asked.